Toes vs Heels: 22 Years' Marriage Life with Non-Christian Wife

The author and his wife
The author and his wife
By Barnabas Zhou May 9th, 2022

It has been 22 years since I got married in 2000, and my wife and I get along with each other, however, we are different. I am short-tempered, while my wife is slow and likes to "cross the bridge" when she comes to it. I like to put everything away in bags and boxes, even the daily foods, while my wife always leaves things anywhere without any extra effort, but can never manage to find something when she needs it. I get up early before dawn driven by my biological clock, but my wife would stay up and get up late.

When we took off our socks to wash our feet one night, we laughed at each other. My socks had holes in the heels, while my wife’s socks had holes in the toes!

My gosh! How did we ever end up together as we are so different but so harmonious?

My wife analyzed, "You land on your heels, so the heel part of the socks is easy to break, while I land on the forefoot and walk silently, so the toes part of the socks is easy to break.” It makes sense!

The second biggest difference with my wife is my pessimism by nature and her optimism.

My wife would say "It will be OK" to all troubles, while I would worry about the terrible results even when in peace. I have a habit of preparing for the worst in everything. Perhaps this is the difference between tiptoe walkers and heel walkers. My wife always looks ahead, while I tend to look back.

In 2017, my wife resigned due to poor company operations. I was deeply worried that we could not make it through. But my wife was full of confidence and courage for the future with an air of "not a big deal as you would support me". On the other hand, I began to worry about the future and made many attempts over ten years ago when the company’s performance was bad. However, the Lord allowed me try and fail repeatedly without permitting to leave the company. I worried too early, perhaps.

Before the 2022 Spring Festival, there were manyn local COVID-19 outbreaks in Henan Province following the epidemic in Xi 'an, and Zhengzhou was locked down again. We were eager to return to our hometown during the Spring Festival. However, as all the traffic stops, we needed to be quarantined for 14 days at assembly sites plus 7 days at home if we really wanted to go. But we only have a 7-day Spring Festival holiday. What should we do?

It was still far from the holiday, and my wife said optimistically, "It's all right, it will be cleared and the lockdown will be opened." I did not have confidence in it, so I responded with silence. Day by day, my wife felt a little more insecurity, "Why don't we prepare some Spring Festival goods?"

It was only three days before the holiday, the pandemic was still prevalent, and the lockdown was going on. In a prayer with my daughter, I was convinced that Lord would have mercy on us and be kind to us. But my wife got shattered by the reality, and secretly prepared goods for celebration in the city. It was not until the night before the Spring Festival that the Zhengzhou lockdown was ended!

My wife is always sure that everything will have a good result due to the optimism in her nature. But I would go from fear and disbelief to prayer, giving our family's wishes to God. I believe that God is powerful, and as the Heavenly Father loves me and is capable of taking charge of everything, He would bless his children and satisfy their expectations.

When my wife gradually lost confidence and secretly prepared goods, we were even more convinced by our invisible confidence that the Lord would achieve it and let us return to our parents. Finally, on Chinese New Year's Eve, we safely returned to Yichuan, enjoying a wonderful and happy Spring Festival holiday with my parents.

After 22 years of marriage, my wife and I have both changed. I am still pessimistic, but I do not think like before. Instead, I am affected by my wife's optimism and entrust all my worries to the Lord. "It's Lord who gives me peace of life or arranges me in the company and the post. What am I afraid of?"

The Lord says, "Don't worry about tomorrow." So, I only bear the difficulties of the day, and my heart is filled with infinite joy and peace. My wife also says that I have changed over the years, as my grumpy temper has turned into gentleness, my impatience has vanished, and my pessimism has gradually changed into optimism.

This is the story of toes and heels. I no longer ask God why we met each other. Instead, I thank Lord for giving me such a lovely helper. Amen!

- Translated by Oliver Zuo

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