Lord Is the Light for Those in Loneliness

A picture of a field under the sun
A picture of a field under the sun
By Li EndianMarch 1st, 2023

Zhang Juan opened an online shop specializing in children's clothes before the pandemic. Due to the pandemic, express delivery had been blocked for several months, and she had to close the shop. Fortunately, her husband had a stable income. However, during the three years of the pandemic, without any gatherings, Zhang suffered from loneliness and depression and tried to commit suicide from her balcony on the fifteenth floor.

Zhang is a second-generation Christian. Her husband, Zhu, is her college classmate. Although he is not a Christian, he accepts and recognizes her faith. In the third year of their marriage, they had a son.

Zhu was a department head. Zhang had her job before she got married. In order to spend more time with her son, she resigned. After the child went to school, she opened an online children's clothing store. Before the pandemic, she was busy with her online store and taking care of her son. 

At the beginning of 2020, when COVID-19 started, Zhang operated her shop as usual. Later, express delivery stopped, and customers kept using rude, accusatory and complaining language to ask for delivery. There were many order returns and cancellations. Seeing the piled-up clothes at home, she had no appetite and also lost her temper with her son and husband. She was even sleepless all night and had a headache! 

Her husband Zhu advised her: "It's nothing. I can afford the loss!" Her friends also said, "Hurry up and close the online store. Anyway, you are not short of that money!" But Zhang was getting more depressed.

Last year, when the online shop was forced to close due to the long lockdown, Zhang began to dispose of the remaining clothes. She often quietly wiped her tears and stood in front of the balcony, thinking of jumping off the building. But there was another voice warning her: "Don't do anything stupid, don't!"

During the pandemic, the church was closed at most times. Zhang had not walked into the church for a long time to get together with other believers.

After the business stopped, the family was locked up at home, and it was not easy for them to buy food. Her son was dissatisfied with the simple meal. Zhang got angry. She grabbed the plate, tossed it to the floor, slammed the door, and went into her room.

Lying in bed, she got bored. When she was looking for something in the room, she unexpectedly pulled out a beautiful prayer mat made of linen fabric, with the Scripture of Matthew printed on one side. It was a gift from a female believer a long time ago.

Zhang knelt on the mat and prayed, "Father! I know that I am sick. The pandemic makes me depressed and lonely. Everything is fine, but I am lost. Lord! If you can, please help me. Let me rekindle the hope and joy of life and know the meaning and value of life!"

Zhang searched the house several times and found the dusty Bible. Zhang began reading the Bible from the first chapter. She also came to the prayer mat frequently and knelt down to pray. 

When Sister Zhang met the Lord in the room, she slowly stopped feeling anxious, sad, and lonely.

Since then, Zhang has gradually repaired her relationship with her husband and son. She no longer finds fault with her husband, nor does she severely criticize her son and yell at him, but treats them with a happy smile, tolerance, and gentleness.

Zhang also participated in the online praise service as well as the online worship fellowship for prayer and praise every week.

"The three-year pandemic has completely changed my heart about pursuing the secular world." Zhang said, "This year, I may find another job. But there is only one thing in my life, the good blessing Maria had chosen, and nothing will make me depressed and lonely again."


related articles