As the saying goes, "Live and learn." This is especially true for church leaders. Recently, Pastor Nathanael, a grassroots minister who has been serving in northern regions for nearly 20 years, shared his journey of ministry and the two major transitions he has experienced. Both shifts had a common theme — finding himself in a difficult, stagnant situation where he longed for training and learning opportunities but had no access to them.
Unchanging Ministry
After graduating from the seminary, Pastor Nathanael remained there as a teacher for over a decade, following the same routine year after year.
Life at the school was monotonous, with teaching as his primary duty. The same courses are repeated year after year, with little variation. "At some point, I didn't even need to prepare for my courses; I could teach them effortlessly. There was no challenge at all," he recalled. Having served in this field for so long and finding himself unable to break through, he began to consider changing to a different ministry role.
The future seemed very uncertain. Leaving was a huge challenge, but staying had become unbearable. He prayed for a long time over the decision, and eventually, God used certain circumstances to lead him out. After leaving, he was amazed to find that God opened a door for him. He found a church where he could commit himself and took on a new role: itinerant ministry.
Itinerant ministry is very different from working as a senior pastor in a local church. It involves preaching or pastoring in various churches without participating in the specific affairs of the local congregations. The purpose is to avoid potential conflicts with the congregations being ministered to.
Pastor Nathaniel travels to several churches each month for itinerant ministry. In the beginning, he was full of passion, sometimes preaching forty to fifty sermons in a single month. However, after a few years, he found himself facing the same bottleneck as before—life had become repetitive. He felt he wasn't growing; there were no new challenges, and once again, he was stuck in a situation with no clear way forward. Since he was preaching the same book of the Bible at different churches, the advantage was becoming very familiar with that book, but the downside was that everything began to feel stale. The final straw for him was encountering believers who were difficult to change.
Believers Hard to Change
He noted that some churches focus solely on listening to sermons but do not put them into practice.
In certain churches, people get up as early as 6 a.m. to hear sermons and can listen for four straight hours in the morning, with only a 10-minute break. After lunch, while some volunteers are still washing dishes, hymns start playing, signaling the start of the next sermon session.
"They've gotten to the point where they equate listening to sermons with loving the Lord. They believe the more they listen, the more spiritual they are… but nothing ever changes."
Pastor Nathaniel described these believers this way: "They have heard every kind of sermon—for decades."
"Singing songs and doing worship" is how many churches perceive what a gathering should be. Some even question: in a small group meeting, one person shares one thing and another shares another, can that really be called a gathering?
The Pain of Hitting a Wall
What has happened is facing just a few people day after day—or even the same group for several years—without seeing real transformation in their lives. If a pastor has a clear calling for this type of ministry, they may hold on to it and continue serving. Without such a calling, it becomes incredibly difficult to persist.
Moreover, the church rarely arranges opportunities for the ministers to go out and learn. In Nathanael's memory, the only time he had such a chance was shortly after he joined the church, when he led a group on an external training trip. The church does provide training opportunities for leaders, but the issue is the limited number of slots. By the time it reaches pastors at the grassroots level, there are no openings left, as leaders and group leaders are given priority.
Living in a repetitive cycle at the bottom, exhaustion inevitably sets in over time. Today, facing the same struggles again, he feels like he has reached a standstill—unable to grow, unable to break through. As a result, he is now considering his next steps in ministry.
Did Pastors Leave Ministries Due to Financial Hardships? No—It's Because They Lost Direction and Motivation
In recent years, many pastors have left their ministry roles, opting instead to earn a living and support their families. However, Nathanael believes they are not leaving because of financial difficulties, but rather because they can no longer see a clear direction, motivation, or hope.
He recalls his years as a teacher at a seminary, where his annual income was barely over a thousand yuan. Yet, since he lived and ate at the school, he remained dedicated to ministry, regardless of financial constraints. At that time, no matter how poor he was, his passion for ministry remained strong. But over time, doubts began to creep in—spending every day in the same routine, gradually wearing down his determination until even the will to serve was lost.
"They're not leaving because of poverty," he said. "They've reached a point in their ministry where they can no longer see a path forward. In other words, they've lost their motivation."
Creating Opportunities to Learn
While it is understandable that the church cannot always provide opportunities for external learning, especially in a large church where some needs are inevitably overlooked, Nathanael feels that he cannot continue in this way indefinitely.
He could choose to remain passive, but that is not the life he wants. He is adventurous by nature. He enjoys traveling, exploring new places, and experiencing new things. For example, every city has its signature local dishes—even if he doesn't particularly enjoy some of them, he still makes an effort to try them from time to time. He and his wife once participated in a fellowship event where they challenged themselves with an extreme sport that many would find intimidating.
He shared that he has a strong desire to study and equip himself further; otherwise, he fears his life will remain stagnant and he'll never break through his limitations. Recently, through a recommendation, he finally received such a learning opportunity, and the experience brought him much renewal. While he paid part of the cost himself, some Christians and the church also gave offerings to support him. He said frankly, "I think what God has provided is enough."
"Even if the church doesn't create opportunities for us, if we don't create them ourselves, we'll completely lose our vision. Without vision, we lose direction, and we'll remain stuck forever." Now in his early forties, Nathaniel still considers himself young—and is eager to keep pushing forward.
Originally published by the Christian Times
- Edited by Karen Luo, translated by J.C.
