"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49:15). This verse has served as a guiding light through the darkest journey of Sister Junjun's life. Her journey from being a child reluctantly sent away by her biological parents to a troubled youth who dropped out of school and struggled with depression, from achieving career success at a young age to eventually dedicating her life to serving God, reads like a redemptive story authored by God Himself.
High School Entrance Exam Failure: Falling into Darkness
In 1996, the family planning policy in Henan Province placed great pressure on many households. As the third child, Junjun, still a baby, was sent by her birth parents to be raised by her aunt. Her aunt, a devout Christian, embraced her as her own and frequently brought her to church. While Junjun did not resist the church community, she had yet to know God herself.
Shuttled between her birth family and her aunt's household, her education became inconsistent. While attending school in Xi'an, she was a top student. But after returning to Henan as the high school entrance exam was around the corner, the stark contrast in environment caused her grades to rank at the bottom in mock exams. Ultimately, she narrowly missed the cutoff score for a key high school. Refusing her parents' suggestion to pay for schooling, she chose to drop out.
"I had two families. My family members love me, but I felt like I had no real home, like an orphan without a place to belong," she recalled.
"Every day felt like darkness," she said quietly. "I never cried in front of others, but I often wept alone at night. My heart was filled with resentment toward my family. I blamed them for throwing my life into despair. At times, I even considered suicide and hurting them."
Entering Society: The Pain Beneath the "Glory"
After dropping out of school, the restless and rebellious Junjun longed to escape her family and explore the wider world. Upon seeing a job advertisement for Foxconn, she signed up without hesitation and left for Zhengzhou. "Looking back, I'm deeply grateful for God's protection," she said. "At the time, I had no understanding of the deceitfulness of the human heart or the vastness of the world, yet I rushed into it after signing up."
Initially expecting to be placed on an assembly line, she was instead assigned a clerical position because she knew how to operate computer spreadsheets. Her exceptional performance quickly led to a promotion when her supervisor resigned, and by age 17, she was managing older employees and earning an enviable salary. Meanwhile, pride quietly took root. Yet the external success couldn't cover up her deep wounds. Every night, she cried alone, sinking further into depression and thoughts of suicide.
Before leaving home, she had habitually packed a Bible in a black bag and hung it above her bed, which she never once opened.
A Turnaround in Faith: From Despair to Hope
Junjun was once invited by her sister to attend a church gathering in Xi'an. Though she was baptized during the visit, she did so without truly understanding its significance or knowing God.
After resigning from her job and returning to Xi'an, she once again fell into depression. Urged on by her family, she reluctantly pulled herself together and began job hunting. Lacking specialized skills, she joined a real estate company, starting from the most basic position. The low pay and steep learning curve made progress difficult, but with her instructor's guidance, she gradually found her footing, earning a monthly income that once exceeded the five-figure range.
The real turning point came during a youth fellowship gathering. Observing the genuine joy on her peers' faces, she wondered, "Why are they so happy? Why am I still unhappy, even though I earn more than they do?"
Driven by curiosity, Junjun attended a large church gathering. When she saw the choir joyfully worshiping with various instruments, she was deeply moved. In that moment, she found herself longing to stand on the stage and worship like them.
As the congregation prayed fervently, Junjun sat in silence, not knowing how to begin. Suddenly, she heard a clear and gentle voice say, "Child, I love you!" Her heart overflowed with emotion, and tears streamed down her face, soaking her sleeves. That one sentence changed her life. From that day, the suicidal thoughts that had long tormented her vanished completely.
Eager to understand the God they believed in, Junjun began to study the Bible fervently. She couldn't restrain her desire to read, even during work hours, and once took an entire day off just to spend time in the library.
Responding to the Call: Embarking on the Path of Theology
When seminary enrollment season arrived, Junjun, reluctant to reject her family's kind suggestion, agreed to "just take a look."
There, a plain-looking yet insightful teacher spoke with her: "If you spend two years studying and come to the conclusion that God doesn't exist, you're still young and won't have wasted much time. But if, in those two years, you encounter the living God, then I congratulate you, for you have the rest of your life ahead, and you will walk in the light because of Him." Therefore, Junjun decided to enroll.
However, before her enrollment, her father flew into a rage upon learning of her plans to study theology and even threatened to cut ties with her. Junjun turned to prayer, asking God to soften her father's heart. God miraculously turned her father's attitude, which strengthened her faith and her determination in studying theology.
She also experienced reconciliation with her family. "It's like Joseph's story," she reflected. "Though he seemed abandoned, he survived and eventually encountered God. It was God who accomplished the forgiveness and reconciliation that I could not achieve on my own."
The Road to Service: From Brokenness to Restoration
After graduating from the seminary, Junjun chose to devote herself to church ministry. From leading worship to preaching, she has since become a core staff member of the church. "There are wildernesses in the journey of ministry," she admitted. "There were times I wanted to give up and run away. But the Lord always corrected my path just in time and led me back to the right path, step by step." She added, "God knows exactly how to guide us. He understands the stage of life we're in and deals with us in the most suitable way. What matters most is truly understanding His calling and fully committing our lives to it."
Junjun especially emphasized that service comes at a cost: "In the Old Testament, burnt offerings had to be skinned, cut, and burnt. If we are willing to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to God, then what does it matter even if the work seems dull?" As a servant of God, she maintains a thirst for learning, striving to grow deeper in her calling.
Originally published by the Gospel Times
- Edited by Karen Luo and translated by Poppy Chan
