Pastor Encourages Single Christians to Face Life as Single

In China, unmarried women who are over 25 years old are called 'leftover women.'
In China, unmarried women who are over 25 years old are called 'leftover women.' (photo: Screengrab)
By Yetta YaoMarch 6th, 2017

How should single Christians walk out of the misunderstanding of singleness? How to establish right conception of singleness and deal with all kinds of stress of being single?

A Chinese pastor releases an article that answers questions on singleness, exhorting single believers to face their single life. 

Right conception of singleness 

Nowadays single people, including Christians, are still influenced by tradition thought that "when men and women are fully grown, they must marry". The media gives a highly exaggerated account of marriage, appealing that only marriage can give people real happiness and satisfaction.

The pastor holds that there are common misunderstandings of singleness: singleness means you're incomplete; a single life is inferior and has many problems; being single lacks love and is painful.

However, the truth is that single people can also receive God's perfect abundance. The foundation of a perfect life lies in the close relationship between men and God. 

Marriage may not solve problems like loneliness, sexual desires and bearing responsibility for your life, for it also brings about many new problems...

So the author claims that single people should have proper understanding of singleness. Marriage is not the all about life and married people may not have few flaws than the single. It's not necessary to gain love from marriage. Singleness can a blessing and a happy lifestyle because we can serve God more wholeheartedly. 

He concludes, "Single people look forward to marriage while married people want to be single again. So it counts what attitude to face different circumstances."

Stress of being single and solutions 

The single are indeed confronted with much stress, for instance, their parents and relatives who desire to see them get married  give them reminder and pressure.They suffer from stress of solitude, including loneliness,and internal pressure that they regard themselves as losers, who disappoint their relatives for being single.In addition, there is obvious psychological pressure.

The author suggests single people not to care criticism from others and even misunderstanding. Don't get married for others when it is not the right time.

The solution to deal with loneliness is, above all, to establish intimacy with God, then keep good relations with your family and healthy interpersonal relationships.

Meanwhile, it should be clear that sexual desire is instinctive and the ability God gives to human beings. But you should also know that sex that is holy is the best gift for a couple from God and sexual satisfaction belongs to a part of marriage.

How should the single overcome the temptation of sexual desire? The author mentions that a viewpoint from John Stott, a Bible scholar states that human's sexual desire can be controoled. Based on the teachings from the Bible, the single can be free from fulfillment of the lust of the flesh by God's grace.

"Learn to seek the satisfaction of your spiritual life according to the teachings of the Bible; To get love and security can alleviate sexual fantasies and desires, which can be lifted to inner satisfaction."Besides,a healthy and regular sporting life both excises your body and consumes leftover energy in your body in a right way."

Translated by Karen Luo

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