Nowadays, singleness, late marriages, having children late, and even remaining dink (both working parents without children) are very common. A brother who has served the church for many years encourages Christians to value the blessings of marriage and raising children.
The brother calls on Christians not to be influenced by secularization or by the times. He did not have children until he was about 35, but now to him he thinks his age of having children was rather late. He holds that if one does not have the gift of celibacy, he should get married as soon as possible and have children early. The later you get married, the more trials you will encounter, especially when it comes to sex. He also sees some reasons why Christians do not get married or get married late: “Christians are influenced by secular ideas, and too many young people pursue so-called success and do not form a correct view of marriage. There are too many older single believers whose hearts are impetuous and uncertain. They want to gain in marriage more than they give.”
He stresses, “The first thing in marriage is to be prepared to give, and to be prepared to commit to someone. Marriage does not mean that the person should achieve success in some aspects before getting married. Christian marriage can not be secularized, and one can not choose a marriage partner like a commodity.”
This brother regards raising children as a very precious blessing from God, urging believers not to take raising children as a burden.
“Although some Christians choose not to get married in order to have more time and energy to bear spiritual fruit, it seems to me that it is God’s will to have many children. It is hard to understand the Heavenly Father’s mood if you do not have children yourself.” It is found that in the process of raising children, the brother’s life and knowledge of faith have been updated much. “It is difficult to appreciate the joy of raising children without having children. As a parent, you can have a deeper understanding of how to give love and enjoy it.”
For many people, they are afraid to have and raise children, and even have anxiety. He also expresses his understanding, because the pressure of educating children in modern society is too great. The material, mental, temporal and physical cost is much higher than that of the past.
He admits that he suffered from raising a child. When there was only one child, the family of three had lived a life of “racing around the clock” every day. Parents focused on the child, picked him up four or five times a day, and accompanied him to do the homework. Every day, they tossed and turned until 11 or 12 o’clock at night.
When he prayed for a simpler way to raise a child, he found that there was actually a way. Later, he began to change his mind. “Children are an inheritance given by God, and parents are just housekeepers.” He decided not to go around the child nor to ask them to meet his own requirements, but to let them do what they like and learn to be independent. He realized that children do not need to take the path chosen by their parents like the previous generation, but only cultivate their character and let them take the right path.
On the child’s schooling, his philosophy is: “We are the companion and supervision of the child, giving him help and guidance when he needs it. As for the future pathway, the child will choose for himself when he is older.”
“Before, we were anxious about our child’s education. When we chose to entrust it to God completely, we did not feel tired. Then we asked for a second child, and now we find it easier and easier to raise a child,” he adds.
The brother looks at his little daughter who is sitting on the ground reading with her friends and he smiles happily. “How nice it is to watch them every day! They are all lovely, and I am very happy to look at them.”
He also gives pertinent advice to Christian parents: “Parents should accept the reality that there is no perfect education and no two children are exactly the same. They should learn to respect their children’s individuality and educate them based on the truth.”
- Translated by Charlie Li