Upon hearing the news of Dr. James C. Dobson's passing on August 21, I was struck by profound and complex emotions. Though separated by an ocean and never having met him in person, reading his books often felt like receiving guidance in person. For many years, his writings and broadcasts have accompanied me in reflecting on family, parenting, and faith, as well as supported me in balancing the dual roles of being both a parent and a child.
Born in 1936 into a family of pastors in Louisiana, Dr. Dobson chose not to enter the pulpit but instead pursued a career in psychology. He earned a doctorate from the University of Southern California School of Medicine and then served as a professor of pediatric psychology at Children's Hospital Los Angeles. In the 1960s, he began to focus on family and parenting issues, publishing his first book, Dare to Discipline, in 1970, which encouraged parents to exercise authority grounded in love. In 1977, he founded Focus on the Family, which grew into one of the world's largest Christian family ministries. At its height, its broadcasts reached more than 4,000 radio stations, were translated into 27 languages, and aired in over 160 countries. He later established the Family Research Council and once advised U.S. presidents, including Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, and Donald Trump, on family policy and youth issues.
In his lifetime, Dr. Dobson authored more than 70 books. Works such as The New Hide or Seek, Bringing Up Boys, Bringing Up Girls, and When God Doesn't Make Sense became bestsellers and were translated into multiple languages.
In China, family values have long been deeply rooted, with kinship and intergenerational ties forming the core of society. Yet in practice, numerous families face challenges and confusion when it comes to education, marriage, and parent-child relationships. In this context, I first turned to Dr. Dobson's books Bringing Up Boys and Bringing Up Girls. At the time, I was anxious about my children's development and uncertain about how to strike the right balance between discipline and freedom. Reading his works felt like listening to the voice of a wise counselor. His words were not empty slogans but guidance grounded in biblical principles and sensitive to real-life concerns.
What left the deepest impression on me was his insight in Bringing Up Boys: that boys need respect, challenge, and guidance. Their natural energy and adventurous spirit, if left unchecked, can easily lead to rebellion or even destructive behavior. Rather than criticizing parents, Dr. Dobson patiently explained why boys develop such tendencies and how mothers and fathers can serve as role models and guides. It was then that I realized education is not about exerting control but about walking alongside children on a shared journey.
In Bringing Up Girls, he highlighted the importance of a girl's emotional world and sense of identity. He stressed the irreplaceable role a father plays in shaping his daughter's security and self-worth. This message struck me profoundly. In Chinese culture, fathers are often seen as stern and distant, while mothers take on the role of emotional caregivers. Dr. Dobson helped me see that fathers are not outsiders; their tenderness and responsibility can leave a lifelong impact. Inspired by this, I became more intentional in adjusting my relationship with my children, devoting more time, attention, and affirmation to them.
Over the years, whenever I have felt anxious about parenting, I have returned to these passages. They have been like a light rekindled again and again in my heart. Dr. Dobson taught me that parenting is not about perfection, but authenticity; not about control, but about entrusting our children to God and recognizing them as precious lives placed in our care.
The Impact of Dr. Dobson's Books on Chinese Readers
In China, education has long been shaped by utilitarian values and a test-oriented system. Many parents tend to focus more on academic achievement than on their children's character, faith, and emotional well-being. Following decades of the one-child policy, parental expectations have become even more concentrated, with children bearing not only the family's future hopes but also the weight of their parents' unrealized aspirations.
Against this backdrop, the introduction of books such as Dare to Discipline, Bringing Up Boys, Bringing Up Girls, and Preparing for Adolescence has been particularly meaningful. These works encourage Chinese parents to reconsider their children's individuality and growth from a perspective that integrates both faith and psychology.
1. Rethinking the Role of Parents
Only after reading the book did many parents recognize that the responsibility of raising children does not rest with mothers alone but requires the full participation of fathers as well. Bringing Up Girls emphasizes the irreplaceable role of fathers, noting that a father's companionship and affirmation are vital in shaping a daughter's outlook and self-confidence. This perspective has an impact on the Chinese families, encouraging many fathers to step out of their "absent" role and re-engage in their children's lives.
2. Helping Parents Understand Gender Differences
China's education model often stresses uniform standards, with little regard for the psychological differences between boys and girls. Drawing on extensive research and case studies, Dr. Dobson explains why boys tend to exhibit more aggressive behavior and why girls often struggle with issues of self-worth. These insights help parents move beyond harsh criticism toward greater empathy and understanding.
3. An Educational Philosophy Centered on Character
In a society preoccupied with academic performance, Dr. Dobson reminds parents that what matters most is not which school a child attends, but rather the cultivation of healthy character, faith in God, and a sense of responsibility toward family. This countercultural message has resonated with many Chinese Christian families, who recognize that grades alone cannot be their children's savior, but character and faith can shape their lives.
4. Potential Impact on Society
In some churches and family education groups, books such as Preparing for Adolescence, Bringing Up Boys, and Bringing Up Girls have been adopted as parent-child learning materials. Parents gather to read, discuss, and share their struggles. These books influence individual parenting practices and gradually promote a broader educational philosophy: one that values differences, emphasizes companionship, and builds on a foundation of faith. In subtle but meaningful ways, this is beginning to shape the culture of education in China.
Dobson's Legacy
For Chinese readers, Dr. Dobson's legacy represents an alternative vision of education. In the midst of tensions between tradition and modernity, and between utilitarianism and faith, he offered a different path. Rather than prescribing a universal formula, he articulated enduring principles: the family is established by God, and the mission of parents is not only to raise children but also to guide them toward truth and help them grow into independent individuals.
His passing serves as a reminder to Christians that while life is finite, faithful witness endures beyond time. Dr. Dobson consistently emphasized a simple yet often neglected truth: the family is the foundation of society, and parental responsibility is a sacred calling. Looking ahead, his writings will continue to inspire Chinese parents and shape the lives of their children. Perhaps one day, when education is discussed in society, it will not only center on grades and academic achievement but also on love, responsibility, and faith. That would be the most fitting tribute to Dr. Dobson.
(The article was originally published by the Gospel Times, and the author is a minister in Anhui Province.)
- Edited by Karen Luo and translated by Poppy Chan
